The American Foreign Legion (a poem)
The American Foreign Legion is coming to your town
A bipartisan resolution to help illegals stick around
Republicans get cheap labor, Democrats get more votes
Illegals get free housing, plus feed for all their goats
As goose-step ambassadors for the Commander In Chief
This minimum wage job will keep your family on relief
You'll learn to vote, bomb and maime in various ways
As you march and sing Hail To The Chief at dawn each day
You'll invade Augusta, Georgia-search for WMDs
Bush knows them tall, needly-things can't all be pine trees
"Destry all their bunkers and set them flags on f'ar!"
This terrorist golf course is one my daddy couldn't par
Your past crimes against others that you never denied
Now work in your favor; Hey! you're pre-qualified!
You can practice any religion-worship alligator shoes
But if you're caught, I promise you'll pay some heavy dues.
Bush'll cut teacher's salaries to buy your uniforms
Then buy even-smarter bombs with Social Security reform
Your unpatriotic neighbors we're taking away
Our scanner shows their drawers weren't made in the USA
You'll have computerized weapons and ballistics second to none
And planes that track and vaporize your enemies as they run
We've figured out how to use you without setting you free
But Congress is hoping like hell that you won't mutiny
So all you soldiers of fortune and action-figure sons
Get paid to live your "closet life" as Attila The Hun.
Just sign up now, or make an "X" whichever you can do
A lifetime job and a MasterCard is waiting for you.